“You can get along with people who do not speak the same language, but you cannot get along with people to whom words do not bear the same meaning.”

Jean Rostand

A long long time ago and once upon a time, human beings had a common language and a common speech. One day they decided to build a giant tower to reach the heavens. They were children trying to touch the sky. But the – only – inhabitant of the sky, in other words God, got angry and all red in His divine face. He was the father trying not to lose face and authority over the children. He said: “If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them. Come, let us go down and confuse their language so they will not understand each other.” Poor God was so afraid to be evicted! Power was in His hands and, as any other trivial human being, He grabbed tighter. But it was too late anyway, since Adam and Eve had eaten the forbidden fruit, men already knew nothing was impossible. Or so says the Bible. In other words.

Personally, my father never tried to confuse me when I climbed up the chair to climb up the table to climb up the cupboard to get my hands on the delicious Belgian chocolates he had hidden. He hid them elsewhere. When I found them again, he hid them elsewhere, then elsewhere, then elsewhere. It was not easy to let go of the power he had over me, but my father is a much greater man than God, so he eventually gave up the fight. Anyway, he was so fond of these chocolates himself, wasn’t it genetically fair that his daughter should long for them too? At that point, we made a deal. A very simple one: fifty-fifty. Something new appeared between us: trust. Then I grew up. My father grew old. God remained in charge. Or so says the Bible.

As God was in charge, He allowed humans to live on until 2012 years after His son was born. He allowed them to create all sorts of funny things: cars, trains, planes, televisions, computers, the Internet. He was probably taking a nap the day Mark Zuckerberg launched Facebook, for I would consider it as a serious threat to my supremacy, if I were Him. Even the Chinese government understood that! He was probably snoring when social networks began to spread and became a tool of revolution during the Arab Spring last year. Or was He, really?

Now, imagine He was not sleeping at all but watching, eyes wide open, a copy of Sun Tzu masterpiece upon His shelf. A tool is a tool after all. Why not making use of it? He said: “If as one people belonging to the same network they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them. Come, let us go down and confuse the information they share, numb their senses with cheap imported products, cloud their minds with inescapable illusions so they will not understand each other.” And so did He. Or so does not say the Bible.

This is the reason why I can now read on Facebook how beautiful are the shoes some remote friend has just bought, how fast is the motorbike some lad wants to buy but cannot afford, what my neighbor had for lunch and who is the new French President. This is the reason why Twitter tells me that Bo Xilai is under arrest for corruption and his wife suspected of alleged murder of British businessman Neil Heywood. (Between brackets, I challenge you to find a single Chinese leader who is not corrupted and has never, be it directly or indirectly, committed any crime.) The Internet tells me that Chen Guangcheng has fled to the US embassy in Beijing, only to be completely snubbed by Hillary Clinton. The net tells me that Al Jazeera correspondent in China Melissa Chan has been expelled of the country for absolutely no reason at all. And yes, I almost forgot, Titanic was a big hit in China, apparently because Chinese like this poor boy/rich girl impossible love story, contrasting so much with the reality they live in where girls don’t pay, poor boys cry.

This is information. This is what I am allowed to see, read, share, write about. This is magic: the Internet, our tower to the sky! Yahoo! I am googiggling at the incredible bing we made to tweet higher and higher in the skype! Now, I won’t play the devil’s advocate (though God knows the lad badly needs one). I won’t ask why Melissa Chan got expelled. I won’t admire my friend’s new shoes. I won’t try to find out who decided to oust Bo Xilai in order to scratch the lion’s share of power. I won’t comment on some guy’s too expensive motorbike. I won’t ask why a tool of freedom has been changed into a tool for tyrants. I won’t play the fool for I already know I won’t get the answer – thousands of plausible answers do not amount to the right one.

The Internet has now become a gigantic industry of twisted truths and trapped contents. Personally, I don’t trust it. It is a shame I use this tool every day, share it with others as if it were a blessing, and still remain defiant. It is a shame we built such a great edifice beyond skies but remained slaves of our own quest for power and influence, unable to unify our strengths once again. I wish we could create a fair Internet, like we did fair trade, a very simple “fifty-fifty” system. I wish our modern Babel tower were bullshit free but I bet God must have bribed the cleansing team. They presently work for China, cleaning out the jewels. And they must be filthy rich.

Today we celebrate women all over the world. How many good intentions are hiding behind this mischievous March 8, how many ideals are flourishing in newspapers! Personally, I hate all of these: women’s day, mother’s day, father’s day, grandmother’s day, lovers’ day, and also cat’s day, dog’s day, Belgian rain’s day(s), Chinese noodles’ day and getting-too-fucked-up-to-play-rock-stars’ day. 

If you want to know the whys and hows we came to celebrate this minority which happens to be women (who account for 52% of the worldwide population by the way), you can check Wikipedia’s article, that will be casual reading.

Here is what I understand. Many women are victims of violence and abuse all over the world. They need help. It is necessary to increase people’s awareness of the daily suffering they endure. It is often hard to spot domestic violence, it is not simple to face it and the help brought to those victims is still far from satisfactory.

Here is what I don’t understand. Why for heaven’s sake does my father feel like he MUST buy me flowers for this special occasion? And why on earth does the first mate I bump into on this special day feel the urge to throw his most blinding smile at me, saying: “Hey! Good women’s day to you!” I swear to God that if I ever hear a guy say that to me today for the very simple reason that I have a vagina, I’ll be only too pleased to return the favour by throwing my knee right into his balls: that will make a man’s day!

Here is what I denounce: the hypocrisy surrounding the International Women’s Day in the Western world and the repulsive commercial outlook it takes. In the end, we are heading exactly toward the opposite direction from the objective we had settled. Women get discriminated, treated as martyrs and “minorities”. They become communities we are forced to celebrate because, after all, they are women.